Meeting and Gaining Medical Health History
A date was set. My mom and I would travel to meet my birth mother in mid-December of 2014. We were both overwhelmed with emotions, though mine were in high-gear because I was nearly 20 weeks pregnant at the time. Being pregnant, it seemed even more crucial to meet my birth mother to gather medical health history. I had always wondered about medical history for my own information, but it became even more important knowing that I had another person to be concerned about.
On our way to visit my birth mother, we discussed what possibilities were ahead of us. I reminded myself that I only wanted medical history (likely a protective factor).
When we arrived, my birth mother greeted us at the front door. She had to be constantly hooked up to an oxygen tank, due to her health condition(s), and it was quite shocking to see someone so young (and related to me!) in that state of health. She welcomed us with open arms and gave us each hugs. We sat in her living room and briefly discussed our own personal lives. It was surreal. We eventually got on the topic of health history. I don't remember a lot of the conversation (maybe I can blame it on baby brain?) but what stood out to me at the time was that I felt pretty darn fortunate to have met her when I did.
As my birth mother explained various health conditions in my biological relatives, I began to feel like a ticking time bomb. The biggest shock was that my family history included incredibly strong ties to cancer, and at young ages.
We had asked if my birth mother knew who my father was, but she seemed very uncomfortable with the question, so we didn't come to any sort of resolution. At one moment, it seemed like she might know who he was, but moments later, she said she wasn't sure who was the father. I was already overwhelmed and was sure she was, too, so the topic was dropped.
We got a couple pictures together and parted ways. My mom and I went to a small cafe in a nearby town to have dinner and decompress before we drove home. We were both in shock. As soon as I returned home, I shared the news with my husband - he was and still is my rock through all of this.
At my next appointment for my pregnancy, I shared the new medical history with my midwife, and she immediately referred me to a genetic counselor to have my family history and genes analyzed. It was really scary. I'm so grateful for my husband and parents - they helped me through some big emotions. I think the two biggest emotions I dealt with were anger and fear. I was angry that this was happening to me...that I had such strong family history of cancer. I was angry that I was rapidly approaching the age in which my birth mother and her mother were diagnosed with breast cancer. I was scared that it was only a matter of time before I received my own diagnosis.
After I met with the genetic counselor, I developed a plan to receive early screenings. It wasn't easy to get things rolling, but I persisted. One of the hospitals in town wanted to wait until the age my birth mother and her mother were diagnosed for me to start screenings, and I was not satisfied with that, so I went to the other hospital and they agreed to start screening sooner. Thank goodness for that.
Being able to start screening prior to the age of diagnosis helped to ease some of my anxiety, though I still had a lot of emotions to work through.
On our way to visit my birth mother, we discussed what possibilities were ahead of us. I reminded myself that I only wanted medical history (likely a protective factor).
When we arrived, my birth mother greeted us at the front door. She had to be constantly hooked up to an oxygen tank, due to her health condition(s), and it was quite shocking to see someone so young (and related to me!) in that state of health. She welcomed us with open arms and gave us each hugs. We sat in her living room and briefly discussed our own personal lives. It was surreal. We eventually got on the topic of health history. I don't remember a lot of the conversation (maybe I can blame it on baby brain?) but what stood out to me at the time was that I felt pretty darn fortunate to have met her when I did.
As my birth mother explained various health conditions in my biological relatives, I began to feel like a ticking time bomb. The biggest shock was that my family history included incredibly strong ties to cancer, and at young ages.
We had asked if my birth mother knew who my father was, but she seemed very uncomfortable with the question, so we didn't come to any sort of resolution. At one moment, it seemed like she might know who he was, but moments later, she said she wasn't sure who was the father. I was already overwhelmed and was sure she was, too, so the topic was dropped.
We got a couple pictures together and parted ways. My mom and I went to a small cafe in a nearby town to have dinner and decompress before we drove home. We were both in shock. As soon as I returned home, I shared the news with my husband - he was and still is my rock through all of this.
At my next appointment for my pregnancy, I shared the new medical history with my midwife, and she immediately referred me to a genetic counselor to have my family history and genes analyzed. It was really scary. I'm so grateful for my husband and parents - they helped me through some big emotions. I think the two biggest emotions I dealt with were anger and fear. I was angry that this was happening to me...that I had such strong family history of cancer. I was angry that I was rapidly approaching the age in which my birth mother and her mother were diagnosed with breast cancer. I was scared that it was only a matter of time before I received my own diagnosis.
After I met with the genetic counselor, I developed a plan to receive early screenings. It wasn't easy to get things rolling, but I persisted. One of the hospitals in town wanted to wait until the age my birth mother and her mother were diagnosed for me to start screenings, and I was not satisfied with that, so I went to the other hospital and they agreed to start screening sooner. Thank goodness for that.
Being able to start screening prior to the age of diagnosis helped to ease some of my anxiety, though I still had a lot of emotions to work through.
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